[No Spoilers] What to expect when (if) you see Solo, from someone who hasn’t seen Solo

I’ve read some reviews, and I think one of them perfectly brands the movie as a “Wikipedia page brought to life.” This is because, by watching the movie, you’ll see that game of sabacc which won Han the Falcon, you’ll find how he got his name, how he did the 12-parsec Kessel run, and more. The same critic said that while this is really all the movie is, it’s a good movie still.

Another critic is upset that “the new characters we don’t care for get most of the screen time, while the characters we care for get little.” Personally, I don’t see how that could happen since the movie is fucking titled SOLO, but sure. Maybe they are saying that because people don’t even like Alden’s Solo. What do I know? I haven’t seen it anyway.

The movie reportedly has a few twists, so watch out for those. Lando is also pansexual, as revealed by a crew member prior to the movie’s release. The real question is: are they just going to say he’s pansexual off-screen or actually show it in the movie? Just saying it doesn’t count, ya Hollywood bastards.

Most critics praise the movie, so I guess it won’t be too bad. I’m still not gonna see it just because I just paid for Infinity War and Deadpool 2. Also, it’s not the Kenobi movie that 98% of the community asked for, so 🖕